Monday, February 15, 2010

Dancing through the pain of farewells to put my head on a blog

The long road unwinding. A view from Sir Lowrys' Pass to Cape Town.

In NIA classes, Kathy begins by asking us to take one step forward into the dance. And what a wonderful way that is to begin; to take one step forward into the new. And that’s exactly what I will do when this column comes to an end in the Cape Times today and I step into a blog.
So farewell then. Eleven years is a long time. But it’s the number of years I have been filling this space twice a month.
I have received a few klaps from people for sharing for my love of some remote places, which they believed would become less remote, thanks to my enthusiasm for them, but I have also received a lot of encouragement from people who have found what have written in this space has helped them, start the week with a smile instead of a frown and who have been comforted, particularly in times of trauma.
I received one abusive mail in all that time from a man who said I had wasted 10 minutes or so of his life— the time he elected to read my column. One of the most haunting e-mails I received was after I had written a column about an intruder in my house. It was from another victim of crime. She described being carried “like a bride” across the threshold into her bedroom. Her would-be rapist was disturbed and she was not raped. But that image has remained.
Another was from a person who said one of my columns had helped to come to grips with the devastating loss of a close friend. How wonderful it has been to touch peoples lives; to know that we share so much in what we love and what we fear.
In lighter vein a column that raised a laugh was my description at walking into a tree on a hiking trail near Stanford, when I almost knocked myself out while Greig doubled over with laughter. To his credit Greig has always been a most convivial companion.
He also taught me not to be afraid of cooking; in those days I could boil water and add milk to muesli. “Many men marry,” his mother had apparently told him as she taught him to cook, “ out of hunger.”
Years later Greig, still has a quote for every occasion; This from Canadian humorist Stephen Leacock:” Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl". Indeed.
Two shrink-wrapped woman appeared in those 11 years. One was a lithe German-speaking blonde who, unannounced, joined us for two days on the Tsitsikamma trail shrink-wrapped in skimpy black shorts, the other was a lady shrink-wrapped into a pink leotard gyrating at gym. And to my amusement, I still meet people who remember my description of taking my costume off in public in a stressful daze after a swim at gym.
“Stress,” remarked my optometrist at the time “is like dust, it gets into everything”
So thank you then to Jenny Crocker, who gave me space for my first column, to Chris Whitfield the then Editor of the Cape Times who allowed me the a more regular slot, to Ann, for being an encouraging and enthusiastic critic, bold enough to caution me when a column skidded off the data forks, and quick to praise when it worked.
And to my friend Peter who gave me the best advice of all when week after week I struggled to end on a punchy note. “ Sometimes," said Peter,” you have to just let go.” And I did. And so it was also that I let go of so much baggage earlier this year by jumping off Lions head under a paraglider and I will let go of this space today, after the full stop at the end.
That I even know what a blog is, is really impressive given that I am tech-impaired. It was, after all, only a few short years ago that I was asking which way up to put the CD in the CD player. This week it was the cigarette-dispensing machine at the restaurant. “Good grief,” I said.” Cigarettes 20.17 a pack these days,
“No Evelyn,” replied Greig “that’s the time.” Ahh. I replied as the price went up to 20.18 a pack.
In the years to come I hope to keep on dancing. I got hooked on NIA, (initially Non Impact Aerobics but now so much more) just before Christmas. What trauma closes down NIA opens up, and instead of curling into yourself like a fetus to protect yourself from the pain; you dance with joy and celebrate life. It’s wonderful.
So thank you and farewell then. As a parting shot, let me mimic Greig and offer a quote: this from the TV series Hill Street Blues: “be careful out there.”

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

love the online Urban Edge Evelyn!

evelyn@hwb.co.za said...

Thank you to the following people for writing to me about my last column published in the Cape Times: I hope you will follow my blog:

Oh wow Evelyn—thank you Nia and I are honoured as I know people trust and respect and even yes - love - your light easy way of being that comes through your writing! Kathy Wolstenholme NIA, South Africa

Dear Evelyn
I can't begin to tell you how much my husband and I are going to miss your fortnightly column. Your column is the first item I turned to on the days it was published and many times it seemed as if you were putting my thoughts and musings into words far more beautifully than I ever could.

My favourite columns over this time ? Better to be happy today than wait for a better tomorrow; We need peace and quiet to appreciate the sounds of silence; Drinking in Nature's Sublime beauty; Look to the Fynbos; and last but not least, The humility of truly great people. I tried out your advice about complimenting and thanking people for the unappreciated work they perform and it's changed my attitude and outlook in ways that are truly surprising. When you look for the good and praiseworthy in people it's amazing how difficult it becomes to find the annoying and irritating.

Thank you for all the good starts to the day and please, somehow, find a way of letting all your fans know your new blog address.

Kind regards and best wishes for the future.


Val Palk

evelyn@hwb.co.za said...

Thank you to Guy for sending me hiss thoughts about the last column in the Cape Times


Thank you for the enjoyment of reading your column. I am a regular hiker on the Table Mt chain (with a group of so-called "pensioners") so especially enjoyed your outdoor enthusiasms! I admired your sharing with us the painful experiences of the local crime scene you suffered and your decision not to be a "victim". And I especially enjoyed your philosophical musings!
All the best for the future.
"Take care out there".
Ellen Nicol

Anonymous said...

An entertaining read boss man, I always enjoy a laugh.
Wishing you many more happy years online in cyberspace.

djp said...

Thank you for what you write, Evelyn. I am grateful that the conversation continues in cyberspace.